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CSI-4 · below 13.5 · notable dissatisfactionCSI-4 below the line: what your relationship score means
A CSI-4 total of 8 to 13 falls below the 13.5 line researchers tie to relationship dissatisfaction — so this is more than one rough week. But below the line after a baby is usually disconnection, not the end: less time, less touch, less of us. It tends to turn around with small, repeated reconnection.
What this result means
The CSI-4 is the Couples Satisfaction Index, a research-validated measure of relationship satisfaction (Funk & Rogge, 2007). It runs from 0 to 21, and 13.5 is the cutoff its authors identified as the best dividing line between satisfied and distressed couples. Landing at 8–13 puts you just under that line — a real, measurable dip, not something to wave away.
It helps to name what's normal here. About two-thirds of couples report a drop in satisfaction in the first years after a baby (Gottman Institute), and other longitudinal work finds the steepest declines cluster around the arrival of a first child. The whole system tilts toward the baby — sleep, time, attention, touch — and many couples slide into a "roommates" phase. That doesn't make it painless, but it does make it common, and common patterns tend to be reversible.
Where this score sits
The CSI-4 runs from 0 to 21. Its authors identified 13.5 as the cutoff that best separates satisfied couples from distressed ones — at or above the line is the satisfied range, below it signals notable dissatisfaction. Here's the ladder, with your band marked:
- 0–7 — Distressed (well below the line)
- 8–13 — Below the line (notable dissatisfaction) (you are here)
- 14–21 — Satisfied (above the line)
What to do next
The thing that moves this score is not one big talk — it's small, repeated reconnection. Pick one low-effort ritual and actually keep it: a two-minute check-in at the end of the day, a hand on the shoulder in passing, one evening a week that isn't about logistics. Say the appreciations out loud; they get lost when everyone's exhausted.
Try to protect the basics that make closeness possible — a fairer split of the invisible load, and enough sleep that you both have something left to give. If it helps to have one doable move at a time with no pressure on either of you, that's exactly what Regular is built for. For the specifics, see how to reconnect after a baby and rebuilding closeness without pressure.
When to get help
Most couples in this band don't need therapy — they need consistent reconnection and a little time. But watch for the signals that it's more than drift: if the low score stays low over weeks despite effort, or you notice contempt, stonewalling, or you feel completely alone in the relationship, a couples therapist is well worth it — and reaching out is a strength move, not a failure. If there is any abuse, coercion or fear in the relationship, that changes everything and it's not on you to fix alone: find mental-health support in your country, or call your local emergency services.
FAQ
What does a CSI-4 score under 13.5 mean?
It means your relationship satisfaction sits below the cutoff researchers use to flag distress — a real dip worth acting on, not just a bad week. After a baby it's usually disconnection rather than the end, and it tends to improve with small, repeated reconnection.
Is a below-the-line score serious?
It's serious enough to act on, but not a sign the relationship is over. Most couples land here at some point in the first year. Consistent reconnection turns it around; if it stays low despite effort, or there's contempt or you feel alone, consider a couples therapist.
What should I do about a low relationship score?
Reconnect in small, repeated ways rather than waiting for one big talk: a daily check-in, appreciation said out loud, a fairer share of the load, a little protected couple-time. If it doesn't shift over weeks, a couples therapist is a strong next step.
Regular is built by a small team of parents who needed it themselves — a companion for the first year after a baby that helps new dads rebuild closeness with their partner through small, science-backed moments, not big talks.
Scored with the CSI-4 (Funk & Rogge, 2007), a validated relationship-satisfaction measure, free for non-commercial use. A self-reflection, not a diagnosis. Below 13.5 indicates notable dissatisfaction. Relationship satisfaction is not a medical condition. When you take the check, your answers stay on your device.